Thursday, December 23, 2010

Rafael Benitez - adieu

Here's some jokes i came up with after hearing the announcement of his sacking from inter milan - mainly for team Cilmi who has already rejoiced in the news:


Rafael “Rafa” Benitez - he's a fucking twat
he is president of that royal association of twats - el presidentwat
He is the called King Twat of the royal duchy of twatness
when he cooks and makes pies, they are all called twat pie
most people say 'what' but he says 'twat'
he’s next gig will be to go to manage "twatford" in the UK
if he was in pulp fiction, Jules (samuel J) would have said to him "say 'twat' one more time, i dare you, i double dare you motherfucker”
if he was working for mad magazine, Alfred E Newman’s catch phrase would be "twat me worry"
if rafa was working for warner brothers bugs bunny would end up have saying "twat's up doc"
Every day for rafa is twatsday
Beyonce thinks rafa is twatiliscious
To send messages to other goatee wearing Spaniards he uses Twatter and his messages are called "twats"
Marvin Gaye used to sing about Rafa in his opus "twat's going on"
His kids refer to him as “the Twatfather”
He tells twat twat jokes instead of knock knock jokes
He would consider his sacking to be a “twatgedy”
Its odd that during the game he likes to stand outside the box
His parrot’s mimicry is bizarrely accurate... “Twaaaaat, twaaaaat!”
He went searching in Scotland for the Twatness monster

Friday, December 3, 2010

An Ode for my Dad's Bladder

(To be said in a kick ass Samuel L. Jackson voice)

Dear Bladder Cancer,


You've been a real shit, a pain and you are not welcome in my father's body anymore.

Yeah cos we herald from the time of the Greek Gods and to you motherfucker I am Zeus. You know, Mount Olympus, father of Apollo, don't fuck with me or I'll shove a lightning bolt up your ass, Zeus!?!

Saturday, November 20, 2010

2010 Spizrock's birthday

As with every year, I like to celebrate with a little song for you all. But rather than inviting y'all to my birthday drinks/party, this year I have to delay it due to family reasons. Never fear, there will be a party, but it will be early next year.

Spizrock x

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

giggidi

Spizrock's quote of the day:
Family Guy Quote #1 (at a Female boxing match)

Glen Quagmire: What can I say? I really like watching her box.

Peter Griffin: That means two things.

Monday, November 15, 2010

It's a nice day for a white wedding...

Trip there: Was gonna write a few amended lyrics to Billy Idol's "White Wedding" in my blog's celebratory status for Alison and Michael's wedding today, but then re-read through the original lyrics and thought that perhaps it would be more suitable if she were my sister who had actually been knocked up, was having a shotgun wedding and needed to... erm.... ssstart agaaaaaain. So like, not really suitable but still a great song for the drive down to Red Hill.

Trip home: Damn you Red Hill for getting me lost on the way home. I did make the left turn at Albuquerque, but missed the turn at the big old tree. At least i had my snarl and leather gloved fist punch to keep me sane.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

BTAFC/Boags Pure Waters of Tasmania winning entry




The winning entry into the 2010 Boags Pure Waters of Tasmania competition. The brief was to make your own Pure Waters of Tasmania TV commercial and was open to all VAFA football clubs with a 1-2 week window for delivery showing the parent company (Lion-Nathan) what you would change using those magical Tassie waters.

Take a look at the original Boag‘s Draught commercial now using this link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94syGYcdGcU&feature=channel

Created by me on behalf of the Bulleen Templestowe Amateur Football Club - with the club winning $5k in sponsorship. Big Thanks to Andy from Corporate AV for use of cameras, Sgt Slick and the acting ability of all the Bullants.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Entourage quote #4:

Entourage Series 7 is back baby - normally i go to Johnny drama for my quotes, but i gotta hand it to Ari this time around:


Ari Gold to Dana: Let me explain this to you in a metaphor you will understand:I'm sure there are guys who have fingered you in the ass long enough that eventually, you let them fuck it & now you think you got me bent over with your finger in my ass,thinking I'm gonna let you do the same. I'm not like you, Dana! You will not fuck me in the ass! Vince will not piss in a cup, for you or anyone else.

Brilliant...

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Gotta get up and back...right on track

One, two what you gonna do....other than write on your blog for the second time.

Look out for a review tomorrow from an old Album from the past - just to get the juices flowing again.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

2010 - the dawn of a spizrock generation

When trying to write your first post, you would like to leave an indelible mark something which sets the benchmark for all your future endeavours in this field.

Nope...I can't think of anything amazing yet either...WELCOME TO SPIZROCK.COM (the blog bomb)